Walking into your child’s first ABA session, it can feel like the first day at a new school: hopeful, a little nerve-wracking, and full of unknowns. The good news is that the “first day” in ABA is designed to be gentle, collaborative, and centered on getting to know your child as a whole person. Here is a guide for the initial stages of therapy, so you feel prepared and confident.

Before you arrive: consent, goals, and the “why”

Ahead of – or at the start of – the session, you’ll review consent forms and talk through goals, routines, and what matters to your family. Many providers also invite assent from your child. That means looking for signs that your child is willing and comfortable participating, as well as honoring “no thanks” cues. This person-centered, assent-based approach is increasingly emphasized in modern ABA, especially here at STEPS, because therapy works best when the learner is on board!

You should also consider the social validity of the upcoming therapy, which essentially means that the goals and strategies focused on should be meaningful, acceptable, and helpful to your child and family. This idea has been a cornerstone of applied behavior analysis for decades.

The beginning stages: relationship first

The initial assessment is during the first session and is the primary active step in starting ABA services. A Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) will likely come to your home to meet your child and family. To help make the experience comfortable and engaging, the BCBA often brings a bag of toys or activities for your child to explore.  Alternatively, the BCBA may choose to engage with your child with the toys that you have to see what they like and how they play.  The goal is to start building a connection in a familiar environment.

You can expect the BCBA to spend time pairing with your child. This includes joining their play, following their lead, and becoming the “giver” of good things like access to toys, activities, attention, etc. This step builds rapport and sets up learning to feel positive and safe. Research supports structured approaches to “pre-session pairing” to strengthen relationships (PMC).

For example,  if your child loves train tracks, their BCBA may sit on the floor and build alongside them, narrate what they’re doing, and celebrate successes before asking for new tasks. There’s no rush to start drills; the relationship is the foundation!

Gentle assessment, embedded in play

The first part of the assessment is typically a conversation with parents or caregivers. The BCBA will ask questions to learn more about your child, your family’s goals, and what you hope to gain from ABA therapy. This information helps the BCBA complete the initial report required by insurance and includes details like your child’s strengths and needs, behavior concerns, where services will take place, and possible treatment goals.

For a lot of the first session, your BCBA is mostly observing: What captures your child’s interest? How do they communicate wants and needs? What supports help them stay regulated? You might see them conduct a preference assessment, which is a quick, playful way to learn which items or activities your child would work for and consider positive reinforcement. Identifying strong motivators early is one of the best ways to make teaching effective and fun.

Additionally, the BCBA will spend time getting to know your child through play and interaction. This part is often fun and relaxed! The BCBA will observe how your child communicates, what they enjoy, and what skills they already have. If challenging behavior is on your mind, the team will start a functional behavior assessment (FBA) to gather information on when, where, and why certain behaviors happen. On day one, that typically means interviews and observation. 

Your role as a parent: co-pilot, not bystander

You’re part of the team from day one. Expect questions about your child’s strengths, daily routines, sensory needs, and what a “good day” looks like. Many programs also begin caregiver coaching early. At STEPS, we provide parent training and information sessions on a regular basis, to ensure you’re able to remain in the know when it comes to your child’s care. Structured parent training can reduce disruptive behavior and help families use consistent strategies across different settings. 

An example of how this coaching might begin is the BCBA modeling a strategy, like prompting and praising requests, and then stepping back so you can try it with real-time coaching. The tone during therapy sessions should always be collaborative and supportive.

How to make the most of Day 1 (Parent Checklist)

• Bring favorites. If the session isn’t taking place in your home, pack two or three of your child’s top toys or snacks; they help with pairing and preference assessments.

• Share your wins. Tell the team what already works at home or school so they can build on it.

• Name your “north star.” What would make the biggest difference for your family right now? Is it smoother mealtimes or more flexible playdates? Determine this, and that clarity will help identify milestones and guide your child’s progress.

• Expect flexibility. First sessions might be shorter, sillier, or more low-demand than you imagine. That’s by design to set up long-term success!

What you can expect to take away

By the end of the first session, you’ll typically get:

• A brief debrief of observations (strengths, interests, initial ideas).

• First steps the team will work on (e.g., building communication, supporting transitions).

• Home tips: small, realistic strategies you can try this week.

• A next-session plan and how progress will be tracked (usually simple, objective data reviewed with you regularly).

Programs that continuously circle back to your priorities and adjust based on the data and your input are putting social validity into practice, which is a major focus at STEPS. 

After the first session: what comes next

After the visit, the BCBA will review the data they have and design a treatment plan that is specific to your child.  The team will then work to obtain authorization and staffing to support your child’s therapeutic schedule.  Over the next few visits, you’ll see the team continue pairing, refine motivators, and start teaching small, meaningful skills within play and routines. If needed, they’ll complete the functional behavior assessment and share a clear plan for preventing and responding to challenging behavior. As new goals emerge, you’ll decide together if they’re meaningful, acceptable, and doable for your family!