There was a time when I carried a small toilet in my trunk and a very special bag for what came out. That thing saw the side of every highway, playground, and parking lot for 100 miles.
Oh, potty training….can we do this? The first thing to find out is if they know the difference between wet and dry.
Can they verbally let you know?
Will they give you some sign that they want/need to be changed?
Next, pay attention to if your child is staying dry for 2 hours or more at a time. Do they sense when they need to go #2? Maybe they move to their favorite spot in the house for this. Maybe they grab a comfort item during this time. These are all common signs of readiness.
Once you feel they are ready, you can begin the process. Now this can be overwhelming for many parents but it doesn’t have to be. The first step is to think about any physical challenges that may come up for your child, such as being able to pull their pants down quickly, being able to get onto the toilet independently, and being able to communicate their need to go with you.
The other aspect to consider is your own child’s difficulties with sound, light and new environments. Will they be scared by the flush? Does the toilet lid make a loud sound? Is it the same place where they wash their hands and take a bath? Try to prepare for those obstacles so they don’t interfere with the process.
Now we know that toilet training for a child with special needs can be more difficult for many reasons. They may not respond to social reinforcement in the same way and may need other types of external motivators. I spoke with a friend who spent years in a special education classroom, and she shared stories of teaching children to successfully void in the toilet with bins of water to splash in after every single success! They’d spend days with a modified educational schedule, easier more preferred work set up close to the bathroom where they could get some worktime completed in between wet/ dry checks and running back to the bathroom to sit on the pot in hopes of being able to have a Potty Party!
The trick is to look for the cues that show up when they have to go.
Do they go to a certain spot?
Do they start to wiggle a certain way?
Are they wet at certain times of the day?
Carefully look at their patterns of behaviour during this time and think of what their biggest motivators are. Those are the things you’ll want to set aside only for potty use. Visual cues usually work well. Implementing a chart for your child will help them to see what they need to do – FIRST, we pull down pants, THEN we sit down. You can also grab a timer and put 2 minutes on it. Limits like these are very helpful for children to see.
Amanda Frantz, a STEPS toilet training expert BCBA says “Don’t let the pull ups or diaper be a crutch! Trash the pull ups/diapers, bring on the underwear.”
Most importantly, remember to breathe! One step at a time and we will get there!